Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because your cute
by Francis Bonnefoy 24601
Summary: Every day Arthur walked into class, he saw a note with different lame science pick up lines on them. Sure Arthur was a giant nerd, but if someone was trying to hit on him or anything, puns were not the way to do it. High School AU FrUK, I feel like I should warn you of the severe puns and cheesiness of some of these lines.


((Warning: terrible puns and lame pick up lines ahead. Continue at your own discretion))

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'Whoever is playing this stupid prank on me is dead.' Arthur thought to himself and he sat down at his desk and crumpled up the sticky note that was left there.

"I want to stick to you like glue-cose"

Every day for about a week now Arthur had been finding sticky notes with horrible science pick up lines written on them in cursive handwriting. Sure, Arthur was a bit of a science nerd, well, 'a bit' being an understatement, but not only did he hate puns, he also hated just about everyone in this classroom. He did have a few close friends, and a few people he wouldn't call friends, but he did hang out with them, eat lunch with them, and talk to them willingly. And then there were some people he hated and one person he /loathed/.

He looked over his shoulder and saw the particular boy talking to his friends with his ridiculously long hair and his stupid blue eyes that seemed like a deeper shade of blue than should be natural. The flamboyant git probably wore colored contacts. He ended up staring at him for a good minute and Francis, the boy in question, noticed and shot him a smile. Arthur blushed and quickly turned around. That smile was stupid too.

The rest of class he started to wonder who was leaving the notes, and looked around the room. He was sitting in between two of his actual friends, Lukas and Vlad. He thought it could be either of them because they know how much he loves science. But no, for one thing they both had boyfriends and for another he walked in from lunch with them and the note was there before they got there. He looked over at his one other friend, Kiku, and thought it could be him. He seems like the kind of person to have neat handwriting like that, but he doesn't have that kind of sense of humor.

He looked over at Alfred and Matthew, the two he wouldn't say are close friends, but are definitely close friends despite the fact Arthur would deny it. They're both more like brothers to him. Alfred is loud and annoying and he feels like he has to be the boys third parent sometimes, and Matthew is sweet and nice, but to be perfectly honest he didn't pay as much attention to him as he should. He thought if it could be either of them, but Alfred always shows up to class late. It could be Matthew though. He hoped it wasn't though. Again, he liked him, but as a brother and he didn't want to hurt him by letting him down like that.

As far as he knew those were the only people in class who really knew about his interests. Aside from Francis. Despite his hatred of him he did occasionally talk to him. And tolerate when he sits next to him at lunch. But Francis had no reason to be interested in him, he was too busy flirting with everyone else in the school. Sleeping with everyone else too. But it's certainly not like he cared about his sex life.

He kept trying to think of who it might be until the bell rang and he walked out, throwing the note in the trash bin on his way out. Yesterday when he told Matthew about what was happening, the boy had said something along the lines of it being 'sort of romantic'. Well, he didn't know much about romance, but bad puns were certainly not the way to his heart. It's not like he could develop a crush for anyone taking the time to get to class before him and leave notes that are specific to one of the things he loved most.

Over the next few weeks there were more sticky notes. The same thing, just another bad pickup line every day.

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're cute"

"How about we make like the change of base law, with you on the bottom, and me on top?"

"If i was an enzyme, i'd be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes"

"Billions of neutrinos penetrate you every second...Mind if I join in?"

"Is it getting hot in here? or is it just our bond that is forming?"

"Even if there was no gravity left on earth I'd still fall for you. "

"My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you"

And the worst part was he had started falling for it the sweeter the lines got. He had stopped throwing them away, and kept the ones that weren't about sex in his folder. Even if this was some sort of prank, some of them had honestly started to make his heart flutter. He was still trying to think of who it could be, but maybe if they were like this in person he could give them a chance. Just maybe. The next day he got to his desk and his heart jumped.

"You must be my horcrux, because you complete me. That was cheesy, but Arthur, even a Cyberman couldn't delete you from my heart. You probably think this has all been some kind of joke, but trust me, you can have the portkey to my heart.

So tell me, are you a Tardis? Cause when I look into your eyes I feel like I'm flying around the universe. And you must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell. I know you might hate me, but I've noticed you smiling at some of my notes. And trust me, your smile is like Expelliarmus. Simple but disarming. I would even let Anderson write fanfiction about us~

But in all honestly Arthur, I'd wait 2000 years just to keep you safe. And besides, suicide as street theatre and murder by corpse aren't the only ways I can spoil you. I'm trying to tell you something, and also ask you something too. If you can tolerate all of these awful puns you hate, maybe you can tolerate this too? I mean, when I'm with you, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. So Arthur, I'm sorry I didn't keep out of the shadows but, I love you. I love you. I love you."

He stared at the letter that was taped to his desk and his face went red. He read it over again before shoving it into his pocket and politely asking to be excused. He was a good student, so the teacher let him go and he stormed out of the classroom.

As he did, Francis noticed some tears forming and his heart constricted nervously. He wondered if he was too on the nose asking if Arthur could tolerate someone he hates loving him. He sunk into his chair, blushing. "I took it too far this time didn't I" he muttered to his friend Antonio.

He was just smiling a little. "No, I think you just need to go talk to him in person." he told him softly.

Francis nodded and got up. He stepped out of the classroom and looked down the hallway, trying to find him. He kept walking and eventually walked past a room he could hear soft crying out of. He stopped and bit his lip nervously before slowly opening the door. The classroom was empty and fairly dark. The lights weren't on, and the blinds were down, and his eyes fell upon a quietly sniffling Brit. He closed the door softly and he stepped a little closer. "Have you figured it out yet?" he asked softly.

Arthur froze up and didn't turn around. "What the hell do you want?" he asked in a shaky voice. "Come to toy with me again have you?"

"I was never toying with you, I meant every word."

"You were just telling me what you think I want to hear." he told him, getting angry now. "I mean I've always known you wanted to get in my pants but this, this is just too fucking much!" he yelled and threw the now crumpled letter at him.

He sighed and walked up to him. "I knew you would act this way." he sighed.

"Because you've been lying to me."

"I never lied to you." he told him and took his hand.

Arthur's heart started racing and he blushed. "D-don't touch me." he said softly and looked into his eyes.

"I love you."

"Stop saying that…"

"I love you so much."

He blushed and glanced at his lips. "I'll make you shut up…"

Francis smiled lovingly and ran a hand through Arthur's hair. "And if I want you to?~"

He blushed darkly and wrapped his arms over his shoulders. "Say it again."

"Quois?"

"Say it again, look into my eyes, and you bloody well better mean it…"

He took his chin and looked into his eyes, causing Arthur's heart to jump into his throat. "I love you." he told him softly and Arthur immediately kissed him. Francis kissed back happily and ended up pushing him against one of the desks. He blushed darkly and made a small sound, giving Francis the chance to move his tongue in. He let him and held him closer, but then broke away from the kiss.

"Wait, a-are you sure you want to do this now? H-Here?" he blushed and glanced around at the empty classroom.

"Well, I'd be willing to make love anywhere you wanted." he muttered and kissed his neck.

That cause Arthur to freeze and his face to go red. "Wait, m-make love?" he asked softly. "You do want to sleep with me? And you wanted to do it right now?" he asked in disbelief.

He blushed and laughed a little. "Of course I do~ I said I meant every word of those notes. Even the sexy ones." he told him and kissed the crook of his neck.

Arthur made a small sound and bit his lip. "A-Alright." he muttered and gripped his shirt. "But not here, okay?"

He nodded and smiled. "Should I come over after school?~" he asked before moving his shirt a bit to kiss his shoulder.

"You better."

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((Soo, if you're allergic to puns I'm sorry. Anyway, I'll probably post a second chapter if anyone wants. But no one's reviewed my only m-rated comic yet, so I have concerns as far as how well I write sexytimes... Anyway, most of these lines were dug up from the depths of the internet. The Sherlock ones were from bbcsherlockpickuplines on tumblr though, and the ones involving the centurion and the vashta nerada are all me. Anyway, thank you for reading, and please review))


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